This Couple Counseling Questionnaire Can Help Your Marriage.
Couples need to regularly take a reading on the health of their marriage or
relationship. Questions such as these can be very helpful for doing that by identifying areas to work on. You may also decide to use counseling or marriage therapy to find solutions you as a couple struggle to find on your own.
Check it out for yourself and improve your marriage.
Print out two copies of the following couple counseling questionnaire. Each one of you should then complete the survey separately, answering “Yes” or “No” to the all the questions.
- Do you feel there is “space” in your marriage for you to grow and be yourself?
- Are your needs just as important as those of your partner?
- Can you communicate them clearly?
- Do you assertively express your feelings?
- Do you and your partner spend time together in shared activities?
- Do you have other meaningful relationships and interests?
- Do you find it easy to talk with each other?
- Do you find it easy to listen to each other?
- When you attempt to resolve a conflict or make a decision, is your negotiation fair and democratic?
- Do you fulfill each others sexual needs?
- Do you share the chores and responsibilities of the marriage/family equally?
- Do you support each others relationships with family?
- Is your marriage free from intimidation and abuse of all kinds?
- Are you able to care for each other in times of hardship or illness?
- Do you trust your partner to tell you the truth at all times?
- Do you feel good about yourself when you are with your partner?
- Do you have clear and explicit agreements and boundaries (yet allow for flexibility)?
- Are play, humor, and having fun together commonplace?
- Can you let go of the need to “be right”?
- Are you open for constructive feedback?
- Are you capable of forgiving yourself and your partner?
- Do you accept your mistakes and learn from them?
- Are you willing to take risks and be vulnerable?
- Can you enjoy being alone and is privacy respected?
- Do you take responsibility for your own behaviors and happiness?
Next, compare your answers without discussion. Then, make a list of all of the items that either one of you answered “No”. Also, take note of the questions where one of you answered “Yes” and the other person said “No”.
From this discussion, identify three or four goals you will agree to work on as a couple. Agree on the rank order of your goals so you will know which one to tackle first.
If you struggle with communication, cannot agree on important characteristics of a healthy relationship or the emotion gets too hot when talking about a particular topic, consider that a red flag warning you might do well to seek couple or marriage counseling.
Any one who is willing to get help to maintain or repair their car should also be will to help your marriage with professional help.
Actually, there’s nothing magical about the questions above. What can feel like a magical effect is making an emotional connection with another human being, even better if that person has special significance for you.
Almost any question can work for you and your partner to set emotional connection in motion, provided honesty, vulnerability and talking/listening skills are used in the process.
For more insight into what makes a relationship healthy and satisfying or for counseling to help your marriage, please call me- Paul W. Anderson, PhD, 843-422-1408.