Smart Marriage and Smart Phones: Can You Have Both?

"There needs to be smart phone rules for married couples, like don't take them to bed when making love." Paul W Anderson, PhD, marriage counselor 843-422-1408

Table of Contents
  1. Marriage And Smart Phones Can Coexist, But...
  2. Smart Phones Trump Marriage
  3. Tips For Married Smart Phone Users
  4. Don't Take Smart Phone To Your Bed
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The short answer is, “Yes:”  a Smart marriage and Smart phones can live together.
The longer answer, however, is that it’s like two porcupines making love: it has to be done very carefully and by some clear-cut rules.

You probably know what a Smart Phone is and use one regularly.

A Smart Marriage is a solid, sustained relationship with meaningful intimacy on all levels, physically, but, also emotional, socially, spiritually and mental. It is a safe place to be, without judgement or criticism.

Most of us need/want both. On the one hand, smart phones made it possible to keep pace with all of the requirements of the modern, technological, social media age. On the other, we want (maybe need) companionship and a life partner who values and respects us.lonely in bluffton, sc, marriage help, save my marriage

Unfortunately, these two sources of benefits and advantages are not equally matched. In fact, one can kill the other much more quickly than the other one can.  (Guess which is which?) One seems to be hard-wired as a necessity into our Western cultural lifestyles. Having a successful partnership or marriage that ranks in the quality range is an option, a volitional choice many people seem to get by without just fine.

To put it another way, I suspect more people find a Smart phone as a necessity than those who see a Smart marriage as requirement for healthy, successful living. And probably, more people have figured how to make a Smart phone work well than the number of people who can make a marriage work well.

There are some compelling reasons for this:

  • Smart phones automatically update, marriages don’t
  • Smart phones are ubiquitous, always connected on multiple levels automatically, engineered and designed cleverly and subliminally to seek our attention 24/7. Marriage is something we tend to push into lower priority categories, refreshing and updating them only when we can get around to it (and as you know, round “To-Its” are hard to find).
  • Smart phones are relatively cheap and made even easier to purchase using the telephone companies’ purchase plans. Marriages are expensive in terms of time, smart marriage and smart phones, bluffton, sc, paul w anderson phdmoney and emotion.
  • Smart phones hijack our minds and train us with subtle stimulus/response like procedures. Unless a couple consciously decides to train themselves to be present and effective partners to each other, they can neglect each other, drift apart and not know what’s happened until it’s too late.
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